What I’ve Been Afraid to Tell You

I was worried if I told you this, you would stop talking to me. But I’m going to tell them to you now anyway.

These are the things I’ve been afraid to tell you…

1) I’m not as secure and confident as I seem. I get panic attacks that wake me up at night.

2) I’m an introvert and I’m not good at small talk. In fact, I’m afraid of small talk. It actually makes my heart beat faster.

3) There is no normal version of me. There is only crazy Lu Wee or serious Lu Wee – nothing in between. And that scares me sometimes.

4) I don’t deal with changes very well. I get paranoid about shifts in schedule or locations, even very minuscule ones.

5) I’m deathly afraid of ending up with a meaningless life. I feel like I overdo this ‘meaningful life’ thing.

6) I get tired easily and have postponed hang-outs with friends simply because I felt too tired. I always give them a reason other than being tired because I don’t want them to think I don’t like them.

7) I work many hours a week. I’m afraid I might lose friends from not talking to them enough.

8) I am doubtful about my own sense of style and rely on other people to validate my style choices.

There is no happy ending to this. But there, I said it.

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