She told me her friends thought I was weird too.

‘Why do you keep sitting next to me?’ she asked after that.

Er, ’cause we’re… friends?

I tried to explain that everything I did with her meant that we had a close friendship.

She said I was thinking too much. ‘To me,’ she said, ‘you are not my close friend at all. You are just someone I know, but not a friend.’

I was heartbroken.

Things ended badly between us. We don’t talk anymore.

From then on, I always asked: Are we friends?

People who do consider me as their friend find it weird and sometimes awkward that I do this. But I have to be sure.

[1] So the first type of person that belongs in your life is the one who sees you the way you see yourself in the relationship.

If you put someone as a top priority in your life, make sure they see you as a top priority in their life too.

When your views on each other are matched, your relationship will go smoothly. But when your views on each other are on opposite ends, the relationship is bound to be strained.

*

I received a message from a colleague.

My boss had hired someone a veteran in the industry to become my boss. And my would-be boss was scrutinizing over every decision I had made in the last couple of years.

‘Why do this? It’s a waste of money!’, ‘Who came up with this stupid idea?’

It seemed like most of the initiatives I had started were worthless to him.

I was in the middle of the ocean, I couldn’t do anything but think about it.

Although the initiatives improved retention, reduced cost and increase profits, it appeared that it did not matter.

I laid down in my bunk bed and thought, ‘If I stay I would have to cancel everything I had done, then do things his way. Do I want to do that?’

I resigned the week after.

[2] The second type of people you should keep are the ones that see the value that you offer as highly as you do.

I’m sure the big shot they hired added value to the department. But I didn’t think the value that I offered was that easily replaced.

But it was.

No matter how hard you work, if your boss, client or customer sees your best work as meh, then it’s time to go.

When your value does not match their expectations, things will probably worsen from then on.

It’s often better to seek to work with people who get excited, rather than disappointed, about your work most of the time.

*

There are enough people in the world to go around that you can find people who do value you. Don’t settle for people who don’t value you.

As you filter people in your life, you find yourself increasingly surrounded by people who support and value you.

And that will be your secret sauce to success in whatever form you wish.