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On Writing
This year, I made it a goal to write at least one reflective essay a week. Writing reflectively helps me understand my inner motivations much more richly than essays I write for other people. These reflective essays can seem self-indulgent, and they are supposed to be. They are written with myself in mind, not the […]
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The Brick Walls
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop […]
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Could it be ego?
Could it be ego that makes someone stop other people while they are talking to tell them, ‘Oh, I already knew that’? Could it be ego that makes it difficult for someone to listen without trying to form a witty response in their head? Could it be ego that makes someone want to be the […]
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In Search of Meaning
‘If you could write a book, what would it be about?’ I looked at my watch, it was 12.14am; 1 hours and 14 minutes past my bed time. What am I doing here? I answered the question. ‘I would write a book about how to live after death… I’m probably not qualified to write that […]
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Unresolved Pain
I have unsettling thoughts today. I thought I would write them down to calm myself. This morning I had an argument with my mother. Arguments with my mother have a familiar theme and have not changed since I was a kid. And the theme was… worth – my worth and hers. ‘You have not done […]
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What I’ve Been Afraid to Tell You
I was worried if I told you this, you would stop talking to me. But I’m going to tell them to you now anyway. These are the things I’ve been afraid to tell you… 1) I’m not as secure and confident as I seem. I get panic attacks that wake me up at night. 2) […]
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Can I be honest?
I feel my mental health deteriorating. Is it because I am doing too much and resting too little? I thought I was off to a good 2016, but the last couple of days have been challenging. Things keep happening and I feel continually tested. I thought I was stronger but I am weaker than I […]
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How to be content
It was on my first climb up Mount Kinabalu when I first met a Danish couple. It was 4.30pm at Laban Rata and I was looking for a seat to have dinner. Sadly, all the tables with the 28 people I came with were filled. ‘Can I sit here?’ I asked a man who was […]
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Why People Talk about Paris a Little More
People talk about Paris a little more because 1) The Eiffel Tower is there. Many people dream about going to Paris (it’s in the bucket list) and people who have been to Paris want to be connected to Paris. 2) Paris not a place you would normally associate with attacks like those which happened. So […]
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When you lose everything
I was 16 years old when I learned what it was like to receive and wear donated clothes. I cried the night I wore them to sleep. I cried because I felt above donated clothes, and because most of them were stained and dirty. The next day I went to school in uniform my mother […]