I used to think my biggest distraction was gaming. I spent my entire school breaks from primary school to high school to uni, gaming. It was completely unnecessary. I should have used the time to get my holiday homework done (yes, I had holiday homework – but let’s talk about that next time), but I […]

I’m finally here, helping you clean like I promise I would. I piled up your Stephen King books into one corner because I don’t remember what you told me to do with them. Write everything down, you had said. Now I wish I had listened. I’m late, I know. I wish I had come earlier, […]

If there is one thing that I’m skilled at in life, it’s this: I’m good at letting people laugh at me in my face, and then still continue doing what I decided on. In Chinese, this is called 脸皮厚. Having thick skin. I wish I could say I was born this way, but I wasn’t. […]

I’ve been reading a lot about the link between childhood neglect and abuse and depression and crime. While I never used to want to admit it but, as a kid, I really was that delinquent who came from a broken home. At home, things were always messy. In primary school, class started at 12 pm […]

When I graduated from A-levels more than ten years ago, I was the #1 ranking in Math out of almost 500 students in my cohort. My Math teacher wrote in my final report card that I had been hardworking and was likely to succeed in life. In his eyes, I was ready to do some hard […]

I don’t like thinking about the time I wasted. But that’s what I did – waste my teens away. It would be 4 a.m. in the morning and I would be wide awake. Playing games. Or, looking back on the day’s notes from class because I hadn’t paid attention in class. Studying. Or, just nothing. […]

The first time I noticed the disparity between who I knew myself to be and how other people saw me happened one cloudy afternoon in a lab in university. I was standing in front of a machine, waiting for my algae samples to dry. In the quiet of the lab, I was accompanied on most […]

Dear Friends, 新年快乐! I wish you health, good relationships, and prosperity, in that order.  If you have supported me through hardship, thank you for that time. If you have given me advice, thank you. If you have spared a thought for me, thank you. And, most of all, forgive me for the mistakes I have made. […]

As young as nine years old, I had dreamt of leaving the life I was given. In my childish logic, suicide meant playing God and saying, ‘No, I don’t want this life, give me a new one.’ As I played with my lego and dolls after dinner every night, I let the thought of my […]

I shouldn’t have felt nervous that day when she told me she was in town. But my heart beat uncontrollably when I saw her text. ‘Let’s meet up,’ she said. ‘When?’ ‘I’ll only be free tomorrow.’ ‘Where?’ ‘Where. That kopitiam we used to go.’ That kopitiam. I hadn’t been there in a long time. The […]