Can I be honest?

I feel my mental health deteriorating. Is it because I am doing too much and resting too little?

I thought I was off to a good 2016, but the last couple of days have been challenging. Things keep happening and I feel continually tested. I thought I was stronger but I am weaker than I think.

I know it is not useful to write something like this but I want to be honest now that I am not feeling okay.

Who do I hope might read this? What am I trying to do?

Seek help. Who can help me?

Escape – I tried that before. Fights – too many.

I have everything, yet I feel like none of it is real.

Do I get professional help? Support is scarce for my type. If I share it with people who are not skilled in handling people like me, I add unnecessary burden to them. What do I do.

I hate to show people this side of me. I’m starting to notice a lot of things I tried so hard to hide resurface, and this time with vengeance.

Am I alone in this?

Maybe more people feel this way but hide it… for fear of being asked to ‘cheer up’, ‘appreciate life’…

It’s not that I don’t appreciate life… it is painful.

I’m sorry if this was negative to read…

I think maybe it is time to find a new solution to this old problem.

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